Getting to Ihsan

Thursday Halaqa Notes

4-4-13
MCA Santa Clara, CA
Sr. Dana Jarrar

Getting to Ihsan - removing the diseases of the heart

We started the halaqa with Um Iyad telling us some research she did on the reading of certain Surahs in the Qur’an in certain days or times. She found out that there are no hadiths to support for example reading Surat Yaseen when someone dies, no hadiths to support reading Surat Maryam in labor, etc. These are really just suggestions to give comfort in certain situations, and to get people to read Qur’an, but there is nothing from the Sunnah that says you should read a Surah in a certain situation.

Regarding Surat Al Kahf, there are hadiths that mention a reward for reading that surah once a week. The ahadith are weak, but because there are many, they support each other. But there is one hadith that adds in the end to read it on Jum3ah or laylatul Jum3ah, that part is very weak. So you can read it in ANY day, not just Friday, and get noor (light of guidance) for one week, inshaAllah.

Diseases of the tongue

• Last week we were talking about Ihsan. If the mumin wants to get to the level of Ihsan, first she has to remove the diseases in her heart. How can we remove the diseases of the heart? The first step is to write them down. So we wrote them down together and we started talking about some of the common ones. 
• Last week we were talking about the sins of the tongue, afaat ul lisaan. Our tongue can help people or hurt people. 
• The tongue shows what is in the heart.
• Hadith: the kind word is sadaqa.
• If you go and tell off your friend, then don’t expect to go and pray duhr with khushoo3 (focus). This is how this sin is affecting our prayers.

Review- 3 parts of khushoo3:

• 1. Remember Allah is with you and think about pleasing Him. Getting to know Allah through Asmaa ul Allah Al Husna (Allah’s names).
• 2. Remember that you are not better than others. Humility. The main cause of our problems is Kibr (pride). 
• When you leave your house, tell yourself that every person you see is better than you: 
• If she is older, then they have done more Ibadah (worship) than you.
• If she is younger, then you have more sins than her
• 3. Purify your heart, make it for Allah. If people praise you, it shouldn’t make you do more or do less or make you love Allah more.
• How do you know if Allah is pleased with you? Look at your deeds... are they bringing you closer to Allah? It takes time, experience to be able to see that. 

Mothers- the foundation of the community

• Our work is not just cooking and cleaning.
• We need to be active and show our children that we are doing work for the community.
• The sahaba would grind flour before Ramadan so that they would have more free time in Ramadan for Ibadah. They didn’t want to waste the precious days of Ramadan in hours of cooking. What are our priorities? 

Prioritizing

• The next sin that some of you wrote down is not prioritizing well. The first step is to learn what are our obligations as a Muslim.

Priority #1: Allah’s haqq, our obligations towards Allah

• For this we need knowledge. Listen to lectures, attend halaqas, read books. So you can find out what Allah wants from you. And we need to look at ourself - what are we doing with the blessings that Allah gave us. We need to remove the diseases in our heart one by one. Learn about them. Let’s create a better generation.

Priority #2: Our spouse

• Your husband is the person who is closest to you. Let him help you. Sit with him and make a list of all the activities that you want to do and for the kids and for the family, and prioritize them together. He loves good for you. This way he will support you in your work.
• All other things go under Mu3amalaat, the regular daily affairs. For these, you can put your niyya (intention) that these are for Allah’s sake.
• So we need to put goals, and put a plan for these goals.
• Our cooking is not our sole goal of the day. If you are cooking a dish that takes a long time, think that you could have read a story to your child instead of spending so much time cooking. Which makes you feel better? Of course spending time with our children makes us feel better. 
• The food that you spend so long on, do you know where it ends up???? In the toilet!!! 

Priority #3: Our relatives, Silat Al Rahm

• We need to find the time. We have everything - viper, skype, texting, cell phone, facebook. It only takes 1 minute to send a quick message to someone. So not having time is not a valid excuse. Call your Aunt 10 minutes this month, then your uncle the month after. If you’re having trouble, make a schedule. Call them in Ramadan, before Eid, after Eid - you will feel so happy to talk to your relatives. Your heart will feel so happy. 
• Don’t call someone just so that they will call you. If a friend didn’t come to your occasion, don’t stop talking to them. This is worshipping customs and traditions that are empty. 
• Free yourself and free others too... by keeping matters simple.
• Forget who called you, visited you, came to your occasion. Instead of memorizing these, you could of memorized Qur’an.
• When you make an occasion, you are making it for Allah’s sake, not for the people. So don’t worry about who came or didn’t come or who didn’t bring a gift. Their visit is the best gift.
• The money of all the world won’t matter if you are sitting alone.