Advice in Qur’an Memorization

A Letter From Heart to Heart
Advice in Qur'an Memorization
Sr. Dana Jarrar

Assalamu Alaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuhu
Alhamdulillah Wassalatu Wassalam ala Rasulillah

Subhan Allah, this heart dear Sisters, is the container that Allah chose to protect His words. This Qur'an, when it first came down, is what filled the hearts of the sahaba, may we be continuing their path. And may this heart that is holding Allah's words pour out the beauty of the Qur'an to all those around us through our manners and deeds in sha Allah. And that our whole life shows the beauty of the Qur'an.

I want to share some advice, first to myself, and then to you, from my experience in memorizing Qur'an. You will experience some hardships, but in the end you will find a beautiful happiness, like picking a ripe fruit after months of watering and weeding the plant. You will feel grateful, alhamdulilah, that Allah facilitated for you to be patient through all these days to find time in each day to sit with the Qur'an.

This heart is the place that Allah looks at. So how much do we have to take care of this heart, so that it can hold the words of Allah, but not only to hold them, but also to benefit from them? Like the water that comes down to the earth. If there is a seed in the earth, then it will start sprouting, growing, and start to make fruit.

In memorizing Allah's words, we can look to those before us - the sahaba, the scholars, the memorizers, the sisters who memorized before us. They all spoke about how the Qur'an can easily get forgotten. That means forgetting some words, some ayahs... that is normal.

There are several things that will help us to stay consistent and keep up with our memorization.

1. Thikr: The shaytan will try to interfere. To make sure your day is protected from the shaytan recite this thikr 'la ilaha illa Allah wahdahu la shareeka lah, lahul mulku wa lahul hamd, wa huwa ala kulli shay'in qadeer' 100 times in the morning. And you can also do 100 times in the afternoon.
لا اله الا الله وحده لا شريك له، له الملك وله الحمد، وهو على كل شيء قدير
I found that this thikr has a powerful affect. One of it's virtues is that if you recite it in the morning the shaytan can't come near you for the whole day. And if you recited it in the afternoon he can't come near you the whole night. If you do this, you have closed a big battle! It might take 5-7 minutes but this is the purification of your day.

2. Memorize first thing in the morning: Before you start your busy day, have a focused sitting with the Qur’an and memorize the ayahs. Then throughout your day do the repetitions (while driving, doing chores, during salat). By the end of the day you will be done and then send your emoji. The next day when you come to review, you will find that you remember it because you were doing your repetitions all day. This will create a strong memorization in sha Allah. If the memorization was hard or taking too long and you couldn’t finish in the early morning, then split it into two parts and arrange two shorter focused sittings with the Qur’an each day. Because if you sit for one long time the shaytan will start making you feel that Qur’an memorization is too hard and takes too much time and you have other more important things to do.

3. Put your trust in Allah and rely on the schedule that is sent in the group. You are in very good hands. I found strong results from this system. Before when I was trying to memorize on my own, I didn't know which surah to start with, how much to memorize, what to review. Then I was blessed to find this group, who knew what they are doing. They have studied each aspect very carefully. And it was a beautiful experience.

4. Protect your heart. There are some sins that when you do them you will find yourself not able to memorize that day. So we have to be careful and figure these out. It might be frustrating when you can't memorize, but it is actually a good thing. Because Allah is trying to purify you. You have to watch yourself and that's how Allah is helping you to grow. For the Qur'an to be in your heart, the heart has to be strong. There are certain characteristics that Allah is trying to build in you. Be aware of your deeds and words as much as you can. This is not a song to sing, it is Allah's words. So if these words will stay in the heart, we have to be careful what affects it. Sometimes backbiting will prevent you from memorizing, sometimes listening to music will affect you, sometimes yelling at your kids, fights with our spouse... And that is how Allah wants to raise you with this Qur'an, until your character becomes the Qur'an.

Lastly, dear sisters, remember the hadith 'The khair of you are those that learn and teach the Qur'an.' In sha Allah, we have entered a door of the doors of khair. May Allah help us complete it and facilitate for us to protect the Qur'an in our tongues, our hearts, our actions, and our character. May Allah make it a support for us on the day of Qiyameh. O Allah we ask You by every name you have to make the Qur'an the spring of our hearts, the light of our chests, and the remover of sorrows. And give us tawfiq in reciting, memorizing, studying, and implementing the Qur'an in our days and nights.

The path is beautiful, but there will be some difficulties along the way that will need some tiring efforts. But as long as we are together in this group, in sha Allah the difficulties will be easier. If you find yourself going down, don't go it alone and be vulnerable to your nafs and shaytan and desires. Right away come to your sisters that love you. The ones that love for you what they love for themselves. And in sha Allah we will stay on this path with our reliance on Allah and our sisterhood and be one hand united in khair.

We ask Allah to make this Qur'an a light in our graves, and a means to dressing our parents in the clothes of honor and the crown of light. And to ascend through the levels of Jannah and hear Allah telling us 'Recite and rise in status as you used to recite in the world, your position will be at the last verse you recite.'

Wassalamu Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

Hajj: Journey to the Divine

*Hajj: Journey to the Divine*
Notes from Khutba by Shaykh Yaser Birjas
8/19/16

In a few days there will be some people taking a Journey to the Divine. It is a journey in which they leave everything behind, everything they have worked so hard to attain in the dunya. They are leaving it to go and embark on a journey, that is like nothing in this life. They are longing to experience a taste of the hereafter, a taste of the akhirah.

But for us who are staying behind, the journey is still going on. You never stop going to Hajj. Our ultimate goal is to visit Allah. There are 5 things that will resemble Hajj in your life. When you are going for Hajj your psychology changes. But even those not going to Hajj get into the mood of Hajj.

1. The longing to return to Allah. Those going for Hajj are hoping for an escape from the pressures, hardships, and depression of dunya and there is nothing like this journey to the divine.  “And we made this house for people to keep coming back and forth.” The people who go to Makkah, they keep longing to return even if they just came back from it. This is the longing for the divine, al shawq. As we go through this plan of Allah for us, we always long to return to where we came from “To Me will be your return.” We all belong to Allah and to Him we will return. One of the things I like to do is spend some time with those who are coming to Makkah for the first time. The moment they see the Ka’bah and they see it, they start crying and they raise their hand in Du’a, and you watch and you cry. How beautiful is that moment of longing for the divine. It is also a reminder of how short life is. We just finished Ramadan and celebrating Eid al Fitr, and now it is almost time for Eid al Adha. The short period between Ramadan and Hajj is a reminder of how short life is subhan Allah. That’s what life is, it is so quick. Whether you live 40, 50, 60 years, it doesn’t matter, compared to the eternal life in Jannah, it is nothing. What is the life in dunya but a very short time. But when you attach your heart to akhirah, then you will always have that longing to return to the divine. A burning desire to meet their Lord. So in the next few days, as you see people going for Hajj, keep reminding yourself, that you are already on that path and journey to meet Allah.

2.
Preparing to meet Allah. The second thing we see those going for Hajj do is the preparation for Hajj. You have to prepare yourself. Even physically, by exercising and eating healthy, because they know it’s going to be tough there. But there is something much more important than that “The best provision you carry with you is Taqwa, piety.” Money, muscles that is the easy part. But what you need to worry about is your spiritual preparation. Prepare with taqwa and righteousness. It’s never too late, start from today, and get yourself ready physically and spiritually. What is al zaadd al taqwa, people won’t understand that until they visit the graveyard. Everyone is wrapped in the same shroud. That’s when you realize the best provision you carry with you is the lightest but the most valuable, and that is Taqwa.

3. Spiritual transformation and obedience to Allah. Knowing that we are going to be on that journey, and every single day, every moment and every single breath is getting you closer to meeting the divine. Imagine that is the case for you, what would you do? That’s when you start observing yourself more, and you start asking more. Suddenly it is easier for them to quit that habit or that attitude or sin, because they know they are closer to meeting Allah. Suddenly it is easier for them to wake up for Fajr. So you have this spiritual transformation. The Hajj is all about worshipping Allah, let your life here also be according to this concept as well. People go to Hajj because they want that escape, that getaway, they want to have that peace and tranquility. And in your life as you are on the journey to Allah, remembering Allah will provide that peace and tranquility. Allah says,“Those who believe and their hearts find peace and tranquility in the remembrance of Allah, indeed in the remembrance of Allah hearts find peace and tranquility.” So remind yourself, troubled times, depressing news, remembering Allah will give you peace and tranquility. Keep sticking to that road on the journey to Allah.

4. Emotionalize your experiences. Hajj is an extremely emotional experience. They will shed more tears in a few days than in their whole lifetime. If you truly want to shed those tears for Allah you have to prepare before you get there. It starts when you put on your Ihram, and you take off all these fancy clothes that you have by which you identify yourself, then you put these clothes just like everyone else. No one will know your economic status or your position. Then you will realize how insignificant all the material gains in dunya are. That is an emotional moment. The other emotional moment is seeing the Ka’bah for the first time. I always love that moment. As you walk toward the Ka’bah it gets very noisy inside the musallah area because of the roof and ceiling, then suddenly as you go into the open court all this noise disappears and all you can hear is the chanting and the humming of the crowd around the ka’bah. Very majestic. Unbelievable. The harmony of the crowd, big circle, it’s so beautiful, so majestic. You stand there and raise your hand and make du’a, it is very emotional. And the day of Arafat is a very emotional day as well. They know it is a short few hours that are the most precious. You start wondering “Am I going to be one of those who have been selected to be forgiven and become like a newborn?” That is what we need to keep reminding ourselves here in the dunya, we always prepare with good deeds and emotionalize our experience with Allah with our Ibadat. When you start your salat, is that the time to think about what you have to do after prayer? Or should I focus on this moment of standing before Allah, remembering that I have been given another opportunity to stand before Allah… before I am gone. That is an amazing emotional moment. Keep reminding yourself. When the trumpet is blown, people will be walking from all directions. And if you’ve never seen that sight before, I want you to see when people are walking from Arafat to Mena. Then when you see the crowd walking, rivers of people walking together, an amazing sight. This is the moment that we will remember when we are walking toward Allah in the akhirah.

5. Seeking Forgiveness from those you’ve wronged. Those who are going for Hajj, they make sure they carry no liabilities toward anyone. They want to free themselves from any wrong or injustice they every did to anyone. They go to people, call people, email people, send messages, asking them for forgiveness before they go to Hajj. We think it’s trivial, but some of these people will not come back. It’s true and it’s serious, they could die and never return. Why not do it now while we are alive? We all are on a journey to Allah. “Worship Allah, and have righteousness, and obey me (Nuh AS), He will forgive you some of your sins.” Allah will forgive a lot of your sins. Why not all? If you wronged any human being, that will have to wait until the day of Judgement. Unless you seek their forgiveness in the dunya. Make sure you are on that path of seeking forgiveness from Allah from those you wronged in this dunya, before your time comes.

- The reality is hitting us hard, Muslims are under surveillance, the media doesn’t give us a chance to breathe, there’s always something happening and you feel guilty, so people want this peace and tranquility. Where can you get it from? We’ve already tried to get it from people it doesn’t work. Where is it? There is nothing like coming back to Allah. The strongest shield is with Allah. We are on a journey to the divine, and you have the opportunity to experience every second of it in the most positive way.

May Allah make our meeting of Allah pleasant, and make our path to Him pleasing to Him ya Rab. May Allah fill our hearts with Eman and Taqwa.

Parenting in Ramadan

38 Tadabbur Tafakkur Halaqa
5/2/19
Parenting in Ramadan

First let’s make our daily schedule

Ramadan Daily Schedule
Write down the prayer times

Suhoor: 4:15
Fajr: 4:46
Duha: 6:30am
Duhr: 1:10
Asr: 4:53
Maghrib: 8:02
Isha: 9:23 / 9:50 (MCA)
After Tarawih: 11pm

Then write down your obligations. Salat, cooking, cleaning, kids, Quran, Dua....
Then put them into your schedule.

1. Salat Tips
- pray in the beginning of the time. when hear the athaan leave everything and pray
- make wudu and be ready before the athaan
- then call kids to pray with you
- praying together is better than nagging them to pray
- Encourage them to lead the prayer. Child age 9+ can be Imam. For younger child pretend to pray behind him. If he forgot something say Allahu akbar.
- try to show your happiness , say let’s take a break and relax by praying , let’s be together
- wash prayer clothes, perfume the rugs , pray in different rooms
- ask the kids, oh there is school this year, let’s skip Tarawih what do you think? They will not accept it. Ask them ,Imagine if Ramadan doesn’t have Tarawih?
- tie Ramadan with fun
- salat al Duha : make sure you pray this , it is essential for Baraka , Duha you can even pray while in car as it is naafila, naafila can be while sitting
- goal: make the longest Sujood

2. Suhoor Tips
- we have around 4 hours Between Tarawih and Suhoor, you can sleep. But if waking up is hard for you after just few hours of sleep then better to stay up.
- prepare Suhoor before you sleep, or wake up early to prepare it  or prepare Suhoor while preparing iftar
- panini machine can make cheese and vegetable sandwiches fast
- while preparing iftar plan and even prepare Suhoor
- after iftar put out the Suhoor
- don’t let shaytan make you feel like a slave or that you are tired
- wake up 15 min before then wake everyone up before half hour
- make some surprises for the kids, like pancakes
- kids sometimes have school parties, they can bring their plate home and eat it at Suhoor

3. Iftar tips
- washing a whole bunch of salad items and store them
- cook for two days if possible
- choose easier recipes liked baked
- instant pot / slow cooker
- purchase cut onions and freeze
- peel garlic ahead of time and freeze
- cooking either morning after kids go to school or after asr . You should not be in the kitchen for more than 2 hours.
- morning can boil the meat/meal prep

4. Quran Tips
- in nawaafil we can hold the Quran
- why do we do a Qur’an khatm in Ramadan? This is our opportunity to present to our hearts the whole Quran. The Prophet (S) did this with Jibreel.
- if you do it as a speed reading, this is a reward , but is not something that will help sustain you after Ramadan .
- this year we will do khatm of Tadabbur alQuran together :

Tadabbur in Ramadan
Choose one or more...

1. أدعية في القرآن Gathering the duas of the Quran , then reflect on them, and try to use it through your day , especially before iftar

2. وقفات تربوية Look for Parenting tips. Tadabbur How to use it for Parenting .

3. نحن' او 'انا' / عظمة الله او وحدانية الله' the ayahs where Allah uses the plural pronoun (we نحن) and where He uses the singular pronoun (I انا). When the plural is used, it shows the greatness of Allah. When the singular is used, it shows the tawhid of Allah.

- use a Quran that has the tafseer , and get one with English tafseer for kids
- once a day share your Tadabbur with the kids , question of the day: I have this ayah, why did Allah use the word Ana? أنا اني .
- start reading the Juz the day Ramadan so that you can be on the same pages as the shaykh in Tarawih, then during Tarawih do more Tadabbur
- even during period keep going on your Quran schedule
- exercise or walking with kids outside before iftar
- if you put a goal of several Khitmas , when your kids are home you will feel annoyed

5. Thikr and Dua Tips
- while preparing suhoor make dua
- do istighfaar, this will rectify our kids
- dua before fajr the best time
- Salawat as much as you can , get to 1000
- syed al istighfaar on the way to Masjid

6. Activities with kids
- Islamic halaqa
- read stories
- make sure they are doing their prayers
- Friday’s after Jumah , each child read one page of kahf

Now let’s look at our challenges!

Challenges to our schedules
- social media
- iftar Invitations
- fancy cooking or desserts

Challenges with our children
- their complaining on going to school or doing their homework while fasting
- getting them to sleep in afternoon
- waking up for Suhoor , prayer
- when they come from school , can ask them , how many minutes until we pray , he chooses for example 30 min, then after 30 min you tell them that time came you promised that we will pray in 30 min. This puts the power with them.
- the day before set the expectations and discuss with kids . So that when they sleep they know that you are going to wake them up. This makes it easiest for them as they expect it.
- after the salat thank them
- competition:who will be the first one
- reward them with a surprise every week

One of our challenges: Training kids for Salat

Salat Expectations by Age
Dr Tariq Habeeb

Age 0-3:
- they like to imitate
- don’t tell them to come pray
- don’t say jannah or naar
- and if they come next to you then praise them

Age 4-5:
- can start talking about Allah, we pray because we love Allah, Who have you your eyes etc , Allah loves us . They can only understand love at this age.
- make up stories , story of a boy that prays

Age 6:
- sees parents as a model, if they love you, they will love Allah
- be a fun person , whatever they like to do , do with them
- Allah gave him mama and baba
- connect salat with fun encouragement
- organize your daily schedule around the prayers so tell him we will go after asr

Age 7-10:
- training starts but no punishments
- moral conscious now , he will start to feel bad when he does something wrong
- fascinated with the greatness of Allah
- can understand Allah with clarity
- will start asking questions , don’t get annoyed or alarmed , he is trying to evaluate and be convinced
- can start to understand about Allah’s punishment , hellfire
- make wudu fun , ok if he missed a part , just watch and say Alhamdulillah. You are training.
- read stories
- start to ask them to pray with you
- if child has sensitive personality, then don’t ever raise voice when asking him to pray
- or some kids need nice stories about importance of salat
- when they turn 7 make a kids party with theme of ‘7’ they will never forget it
- Age 9 can pray fajr on time or 15 min before sunrise
- punishments are easier but do not do that
- rewards after as a surprise , praise them in front of others relatives
- take then to pray in Masjid , talk to them as they are like the Sahaba, connect them with role models , Sahaba
- don’t expect khushoo3
- don’t compare them
- khushoo needs knowledge , and they don’t have that yet
- pray at beginning, it’s easier
- praise them in their prayer clothes , choose their prayer rug
- don’t accuse them of lying , this is a time of training . Say, maybe you forgot? He might have thought he did .

Age 10-12
- now salat is obligatory
- expect that: lying is possible now , trying to get away from obligations. Careless, wants to play
- if you punish , blame, or compare , they will have negative feelings
- we need to talk to them about Ayat and Hadith that will love salat , to understand why, to love siyam
- imagine that salat is a Tree and under the tree is presents. And siyam is a tree and under it are presents. What are the presents of Salat (the beautiful things about it)? What are the presents of Siyam (the beautiful things about it)?
Homework: research the ayahs and hadiths about salat and siyam and post to the group on Tuesday.

Future Homework: Research Child Development, what to expect for each age group. It is our responsibility as parents.
- Write down the ages of your kids
Read about Developmental characteristics for that age in all areas, spiritual , emotional , social
- If you found any websites or pdf that helped you please share it with us

Raising a Resilient Child

Raising Resilient Children 

Christopher Glover MS, licensed educational psychologist,  Santa Clara Unified School District counselor

12/14/18

MCA Santa Clara, CA

Take the Quiz:

- quiz for parents
- all are false!

Slides from the talk:
- slides

Make Parenting a Priority

- When you are raising your children you are raising your grandchildren and great grandchildren as well. So making parenting a priority today you are prioritizing your grandchildren and great grandchildren . 

- With parenting, the thing that interferes, gets in the way the most, are the emotions of the adults . so the question is: how can I change my feelings so that it’s more relaxed and inviting? 

- Studies looked at various risk factors- things that interfere : divorce, death, drug use, alcoholic parents, frequent moving, poverty. But why were so many of these children thriving despite their circumstances? They had resiliency. 

4 Characteristics of the Resilient Child 

1. Social Competence: 

- responds appropriately

- has flexibility

- can communicate effectively

- sense of humor 

2. Problem Solving Skills: 

- ability to think abstractly

- reflective in thought

- explores alternative solutions

- seeks help from others

- uses available resources

- need knowledge of self , be able to say I don’t know 

- problem solving activities for kids: riddles , stories with holes activity 

3. Autonomy:

- has a sense of one’s own identity, including motivations and needs

- has ability to act independently (feels some control over environment)

- has ability to separate oneself from dysfunctional environment 

- the less one knows about who they are, the more likely they are to be manipulated by others. The more we know about who we are the less likely they are to be manipulated by others.

- kids who are resilient will take up responsibility

- kids who have problems at home they would find a way to stay longer at school or go to neighbors house... 

- emotions don’t mature. Happiness at age 5 is the same at age 90. Happiness is happiness. With parenting we are taking about emotions . How do we keep our emotions in check? 

4. Sense of Purpose/Future

- has healthy expectancies, is goal oriented

- demonstrates perseverance 

- maintains a sense of hope

- exhibits hardiness 

- has a sense of anticipation, of a compelling future 

4 Needs that All Children Have

 1. All Children Need Adults 

- fostering resilience: comes from a nurturing relationship 

- concern for the next generation 

- solving adult problems would solve the issues children have 

- when an adult spends abundant meaningful time with a child their self worth increases, feeling of personal significance 

- adults created The boundaries within which the child matures. When there are all community and others around the child 

- boundaries created by just mom and dad are much different , they can’t play out in the yard by themselves , can’t ride bike in neighborhood

- but sometimes mom and dad are working full time , child in childcare , then the kids rely on each other for information , other kids don’t provide the activities that promote maturity : adults are critical 

- boys ache for their fathers’ hearts 

- student misbehaving , he would go to the classroom and take him out, ‘you need to come with me right now’ , and they would come, it was the male factor. One of the problems with our schools is there are not enough male staff especially for our boys 

- accept kids as they are, and you are just guiding them, guiding kids to where they are headed tomorrow , Treat them as someone who is capable 

2. All Children Need Positive Experiences in Meaningful Activities 

- having a positive look to your circumstances

- provide a lot of early successes in a variety of life activities, creates a deep positive image of self 

- the most time consuming thing is to have an enemy

- optimist sees a green light everywhere, pessimist only sees red lights, the truly wise is color blind. 

- most of the time your children are behaving appropriately , and most of the time there is no feedback for that from adults 

- we are constantly on top of their misbehavior 

- when they misbehave they are exhibiting traits that we are trying to teach them

- most of the time your children are not arguing , but we say nothing 

- put the spotlight and focus on the good behavior , when your kids are doing the right thing you need to respond 

- the time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining 

- parents forget to acknowledge positive character traits 

- most of the time our spouses are behaving appropriately, so once in a while acknowledge your spouse 

- the option to see the positive is always available to you 

- Punishment is not supported by studies. It tells the child: ‘continue the misbehavior so long as you are willing to accept the punishment’

- the kids being punished in September were the same ones in June. That’s why punishment doesn’t work.

- Rewards also does not work. It tells the child: ‘continue the bad behavior as long as you are willing to forego the reward’

3. All Children Need to Feel Competent 

- you just need a few people in the community for the child to thrive

- don’t give up your power because you don’t believe you have any

- find a career that is aligned with your passion, not your talent - doctors who are competent but not passionate , teachers who are talented but not passionate . Being good at something isn’t good enough reason to do it. Being passionate makes for a better guarantee of spiritual fulfillment and animates one’s life.

- the things you love doing time goes by so fast 

- we need other people to see what we are doing 

- feedback on competence: if we want to build competency we need to remind them of what they learned , focus on the right move . 

- goal of sports is to build confidence and social connections 

- when you compare one child with another it gives false information , only one comparison is valid: how your child is performing today compared to yesterday 

- what keeps a person centered is their sense of self: knowing their talent 

- we give them everything , they get to college , they drop out . Einstein’s father was so dissapointed with him , couldn’t get a job, but this led to him having time to make discoveries. 

- put them in something that shows up there talents , and don’t criticize every aspect , feedback has to be in a way to preserve their self worth 

4. All children need to be able to think critically 

- appreciate child’s questions 

- the more numerous the laws, the more corrupt the society 

- do we need more rules? But it won’t work if there’s no character. If there is character there is no need for laws. When character is in place we need fewer rules. 

- prompt the thought without giving a direction: I wonder what would happen if you just kept your hands to yourselves, how long can you keep this up let’s time it- don’t have to threaten or take away things , 

- create peace: by trying to understand . Seek to understand before being understood. 

- get them to problem solve: I wonder how we can do things differently , 

- spark imagination 

- selective attention: if we aren’t looking for something we don’t see it - we haven’t been noticing our children being competent, we are looking for the misbehaviors, and that’s why we notice a lot of misbehaviors . We have to be looking for the competencies .

- The great teachers are the ones looking for children doing the right things 

- the things that will help them navigate their lives is having a foundation of love, support, understanding, and worth 

- we don’t know what the jobs are going to be , the ability and the will to learn . The quality of their life is always going to be determined by relationships: the people who we have in our hearts and have a sense of care . 

- we can’t attack their sense of worth and think we are preparing them 

- when they are doing something right, let them know what character trait they are displaying 

- tell them they have integrity, if they are young and don’t know that word then they will ask you what does integrity mean , and you can tell them it’s what you just did 

- critical: relationships and sense of worth 

- align it to something relevant to them , 

- consequences : they just say ‘continue the misbehavior as long as you are willing to have this consequence’ ... truth is is that everything is emotional not behavioral . Relationships is all about emotion. When emotions are in place things are better. 

- connect them to their heritage , sense of identity , helps them that they will never feel alone. They look in the mirror and see all the people who came before them. ‘You have your grandmothers’ eyes’ helped her love her eyes. 

Da'wah Workshop: Aspire to Inspire

Islamic Outreach: The Prophetic Way

“Aspire to inspire before you expire.” 

Da’wah Workshop

7/7/18

MCA Santa Clara, CA

Imam Jawad Ahmed

Director of WhyIslam

Importance of Da’wah in Islam

Definition of Arabic word Da’wah & It’s Implications

• Comes from root word of Da’aa which literally means to call, to invite, to supplicate.
• Technically it is used to refer to the act of conveying or calling people to the message of Islam.
• Da’wah means to call to Islam.
• The purpose of Da’wah is to call others to the truth.
• Giving da’wah to Muslims is Islaah/Rectification. 
• But usually we focus more in giving da’wah to non-Muslims because they don’t know anything.

Terminologies: Da’ee, Da’eeyah, Madu’oo

• Da’ee - male caller to islam
• Da’eeyah - female caller to islam
• Madu’oo - the one who is called to Islam

Virtues of Da’wah: Noble Blessings

• You are enjoying the blessing of La ilaha illa Allah, why are you enjoying it alone? Share it with others.
• “Aspire to Inspire before you expire.” 
• We have an expiration date but it’s not written on our face. So we need to use our life in the optimum productive manner. 
• Aspiration is a desire, a desire to inspire. 
• Hadith “By Allah if a single person is guided by Allah through you, it will be better for you than a whole lot of red camels.” Bukhari and Muslim
• Red camels in those days were one of the most desired things. For us, imagine it is as 1000 Red Ferraris or mansions or summer homes. 
• What it means is - you might desire worldly things, but there’s nothing better than giving the gift of hidaya to others. Imagine the day someone comes up to you and says ‘I want to become Muslim can you help me?’. 
• We don’t want to go to Jannah alone, you want to go with your loved ones and friends. Our desire should be for Allah to reconnect us in Jannah. In Jannah you will see people and you will say oh you look familiar. How beautiful it will be to meet those you know in Jannah. 

Benefits of Da’wah

• Removes misconceptions about Islam from people.
• Fights IsIamophobia and hate mongers influence.
• Spread message of Islam to all parts of world.
• Spreading Islam does not mean converting! Ayah in Surat al Baqarah: “There is no compulsion in religion.”
• When you spread truth, falsehood will automatically reduce. It will appeal to people’s common sense and their natural fitrah to recognize truth.
• We only need to create the curiosity and thirst for the truth.

Obligation: Is it Fard, Sunnah, Wajib?

• “And who is better in speech than one who incites to Allah and does righteousness and says ‘Indeed I am of the Muslims’ 41:33
• “Say, ‘This is my way; I invite to Allah with insight, I and those who follow me. And exalted is Allah; and I am not of those who associate others with Him.’” 12:108
• Hadith “Call them to Islam, and inform them of their obligatory duties regarding the rights of Allah. If Allah guides through you, even one single person, that is better for you than to possess (the most valuable) red camel.” Bukhari and Muslim
• These obligate us and make it fard for us to pass the message of Prophet Muhammad (S) to others. It is your duty and Allah will ask all of us ‘I put you on the earth, what did you do for my deen?’ What will you say.. Oh Allah I had no time for you…
• But what if you are not a shaykh or don’t know much about Islam? The Prophet Muhammad (S) said, “Convey from me even if only one sentence.” Bukhari, Tirdmidhi, and Ahmad. If you know even one thing or aspect talk about it spread it. 

Modalities of Da’wah: Theory and Practice

• Technology has taken us to land of no barriers to da’wah. We are borderless. And we have an abundance of social media tools. 
• The same Allah that made Musa (AS) speak in front of Pharoan can make anyone speak. As long as the intention niyyah is there ‘I want to spread the message of Allah’. 
• You can make a ten second video and put it on youtube. A random person sees it and you have done your duty. 
• Our job is not to convince them, just to convey in a multitude of ways.
• You can write articles in the oped page in the local newspaper. Magazines, write on a topic, but insert a few lines islamic view on the topic. 
• If you know something or have a skill you need to be teaching others. 
• “Call to the way of your Lord with Wisdom and good instruction, and argue with them in a way that is better.” Surat al Nahl 16:125
• Three things mentioned here: wisdom, a fair warning/alert, if they argue then you respond in a better way. It does not mean debate with them, it means try to stop the argument ‘say peace’.   

Consequences of NOT giving Da’wah

• People don’t learn about Islam and its message
• We are deprived from reward 
• Misconceptions spread all over
• Haters defame and malign Islam
• Muslims isolated from society

Da’wah Etiquettes

Pre-Requisites for Da’ee/Da’eeyah 

1. Knowledge: Ilm. 

• When you decide and intend to do dawn it is imperative that you start seeking knowledge.
• Learn about the misconceptions and their answers
• Books, audio lectures, youtube videos

2. Kindness/Gentleness: Leen. 

• “You were lenient with them.” 3:124?
• Ask Allah for Rahmeh and ask Him to make your heart and tongue soft for this da’wah as You did for Muhammad (S). 
• “If you were stiff with them, they would run away from you.” A stiff hearted person won’t be able to give good da’wah, ask Allah to calm you down and give you the etiquettes. The Prophet (S) was a like a magnet. We should have a behavior that attracts non muslims and people want to hang around with us. Our facial expressions, our body language. 

3. Wisdom: Hikmah.  

• Knowing the audience, knowing their culture, knowing their concerns. It’s not about comparing the religions, differences tear us apart. Let’s not focus on that. That should not be the starting point. Start with the similarities. For example: Respect for parents, kindness to neighbors, 

4. Patience: Sabr. 

• Act not react. Being calm. Resist anger. Listen. 

5. Morality: Hayaa. 

• Hayaa is modesty in character and behavior. It is really your body language. They are watching everything. So it is important for the da’eeya to improve their behavior. We need regular classes of Quran and tafseer to build your akhlaaq and personality. Your akhlaq will change people’s hearts and minds. 

Know your Audience

• Customize the delivery of your message to their understanding. Use your knowledge of the culture to insert Islam. 
• Example: 4th of July while waiting for fireworks to start strike a conversation. ‘These fireworks are beautiful and my family comes to see it every year.’ 
• Use analogy as a tool. 
• Build on similarities and items they already appreciate
• Drive the conversation
• A lot of times we just answer questions, but that is not really da’wah. Da’wah is to use that question to relate things to drive the conversation further. 
• Ex: the Kufi how can we use a question about that to drive a further conversation? Could connect it to modesty topic, spirituality/God watching you, visibility attracting attention and showing courage, 
• ask questions to know your audience
• understand their concerns so that you can address them

How to Engage your Audience

Opportunity of Open Ended Questions

• You can meet someone in a grocery store line and while you are standing you can make a conversation. What’s the worst that could happen? 99 times out of 100 they shared their stories with me, and only 1 time I got a negative reaction.
• Allah put you in the right place at the right time to deliver the message. 
• No prophets will be sent, so we need to deliver the message.
• Golden Rule: Don’t just answer their question and query then stop! Instead ask questions that provoke their interest into Islam, its beliefs and practices.. this is engaging the caller.
• If you feel they have time and are interested to learn then give details.
• An open ended question is a perfect opportunity for da’wah. Ex: what are your views about… , then reply, btw we believe… 
• Try to bring up this question in your conversations. “What do you know about Islam?” If food attracts someone to Islam, use it, then say btw our Lord said we should not waste food. Our Lord gave us this food. Ayah ‘eat and drink and don’t waste’. In Jannah we can eat and drink.

Examples of Open ended questions

• What do you think is the purpose of life? 
• Do you follow a faith? Why?
• Do you believe in a Creator of the universe?
• Have you ever experienced spirituality? How?
• What do you think of death? Why?
• How… Why… What.. When…

• American is seriously depressed. Look at the statistics. How many Americans are considering suicide, committing suicide. And the medicine and cure is with Islam, Qur’an, Allah. “And I didn’t create human except to worship.” “We will test you with loss of life, loss of money, hunger, but give good news to the patient.”
• They call the WhyIslam hotline saying they want to commit suicide. Ask them, do you meditate? Then tell them, we meditate/pray 5 times a day. Studies show that when you put your forehead on the floor it circulates the blood through the head and re-energizes you. Isa (AS) also prayed by kneeling and putting his head on the ground. Imagine someone who has never prayed in their life, never put their head on the ground, they don’t know what it feels like. 
• Story: A woman called and wanted to end her life, she said just tell me one thing to do, and he told her to make sajdah, just kneel and put forehead on ground and leave it there for 2 minutes, and she said, wow that was so soothing where did you learn that are you a doctor? No. why did you tell me to do that. Well that’s what we do 5 times a day. She said I feel so relieved now and feel so calm. Even if she didn’t convert so what, at least we delivered the message. I have to keep stressing da’wah is not about shahadah. Allah will guide them not us. But Allah is using us as a cause. Let us be that cause.

Da’wah Skills: “S.T.R.A.W”

• These are the basics of Islam. If you don’t have time to fully talk about Islam, at least talk about the basics.
• Ask open ended question to them so then you respond with any of “TRAW”
• In the Makki surahs Allah constantly refers to these 3 points: Tawheed, Risalah, and Akhirah. 

S: Shahadah is end goal

T: Tawheed - Oneness of God in all aspects.

R: Risalah - Messengership of Prophet Muhammad: Why was he sent? Need for? 

A: Akhirah - AfterLife & Its Purpose for humans (You will return to Allah)

W: Wahi - Revelation - connector of all 3.

- Then when they learn about these they will naturally get to S-Shahada. 

How to Steer a Conversation to Da’wah?

• Try to make a connection between caller’s question and tawheed.
• Ex: Hijab can be connected to oneness of Allah and how we should respect His authority. Explain what is Tawheed, then link it to Risalah, and then Akhirah.
• There is only One God, and He sent prophets and messengers to deliver His message to humanity. All the prophets of Allah were brothers who sent the same message. If they ask: If Muhammad like Jesus, then why should they follow Muhammad (S) then? Jesus told his followers that another Prophet would come that you have to believe in. Jesus said that. Moses said after him will a prophet. Every prophet told their people to believe in the last Prophet in order to complete the message. You have a small part of the message.  

Dealing with Conflict

• If someone attacks you or your religion, don’t start attacking them. Steer away from conflict. Turn the conversation. They want to pick a fight and start a debate and irritate you. Say wait a second, let me tell you something, who gave us life? is the being that gave life going to tell us to take a life? No religious person will tell you to kill yourself or kill others. Suicide is prohibited in all religions. If someone is forbidding you to take your own life, why would He allow you to take others’ lives? 
• Avoid saying negative things of other religions.
• Acknowledge that they have the right to choose their belief system.
• Build on similarities before pointing out differences.
• Acknowledge the good that you see.
• Be prepared to clarify the Islamic position on issues, even if they won’t be accepted by the listener.
• The responsibility is to give the message, the rest is from Allah. 

How to answer tough questions

• They came with a sickness, you start with the medicine. 
• Suicidal person: Ask them tell me something good you did in your life. This will help move them from negative thoughts to positive thoughts. 
• Prophet is pedophile?: Say: ‘Let me tell you about our Prophet Muhammad (S)’. Talk to them for 15 minutes about the Prophet’s life. Then use common sense - a pedophile is someone that has lustful desires. But the Prophet Muhammad (S) married someone 15 years older than him a widow, does that sound like a pedophile? He was loyal and married to her for 25 years until her death. Steer them from negativity to positivity. 
• First: Give short/brief answer then immediately connect to one of the “TRAW”
• Second: If you don’t know the answer to the question then tell them “there is more to Islam than just that you are asking.” Then start using TRAW with caller to show them what true Islam is and what are the basic tenants as opposed to focusing on one issue. Also you can tell them you will ask about it and get back to them.

ICNA Update & Volunteer Needs

• Islamic Circle of North America
• Relief Department: Mercy on Wheels foods to SF, Oakland, San Jose, and Stockton area. Planning to start Mobile health clinic.
• Young Muslim Department (YM): ICNA annual Islamic quiz. 
• Dawah department: Why Islam. 
• Dawah Channels: dawah at farmers markets, fairs and festivals, MSA’s (giving them pamphlets, event Jesus in Islam), street dawah, and open houses (lunch with a muslim, mini open house at library). 
• Ansaar Activities: Masjid tours, New Muslim mentoring (those who take shahada at our events or through the WHYIslam hotline), and New Muslim Eid Dinner. *Need for help from sisters to help new Muslimahs
• Inventory: brochures, Qur’an translations in English and Spanish, Shahadah packages (brothers, sisters, English, Spanish), Dawah CDs, bumper stickers, Islamic books. *Need people to help review books before adding to our inventory. 
• Training and Tarbiya: Why Islam bay area Dawah guidelines document, dawah workshops, Volunteers Islamic Tarbiya halaqas for WhyIslam volunteers, Soft skills training in Dawah.
• Media: bus ads, billboard ads, newspaper ads. Not doing this frequently in the past 2 years because we have seen more response from mass mailings. Also it is more costly. 

Volunteer Needs: 

• farmers market, street dawah, library, mall, tarbiya for volunteers, follow up with non-muslim visitors, ansaar for reverts, social media, website maintenance, more events with MSAs. 

Contacts and Links:

• National Hotline: 877-WHY-ISLAM
• Website: www.whyislam.org
• External Requests: whyislam@icnabayarea.org
• Internal requests: info@icnabayarea.org
• Local Website: www.icnabayarea.org