38 Tadabbur Tafakkur Halaqa
5/2/19
Parenting in Ramadan
First let’s make our daily schedule
Ramadan Daily Schedule
Write down the prayer times
Suhoor: 4:15
Fajr: 4:46
Duha: 6:30am
Duhr: 1:10
Asr: 4:53
Maghrib: 8:02
Isha: 9:23 / 9:50 (MCA)
After Tarawih: 11pm
Then write down your obligations. Salat, cooking, cleaning, kids, Quran, Dua....
Then put them into your schedule.
1. Salat Tips
- pray in the beginning of the time. when hear the athaan leave everything and pray
- make wudu and be ready before the athaan
- then call kids to pray with you
- praying together is better than nagging them to pray
- Encourage them to lead the prayer. Child age 9+ can be Imam. For younger child pretend to pray behind him. If he forgot something say Allahu akbar.
- try to show your happiness , say let’s take a break and relax by praying , let’s be together
- wash prayer clothes, perfume the rugs , pray in different rooms
- ask the kids, oh there is school this year, let’s skip Tarawih what do you think? They will not accept it. Ask them ,Imagine if Ramadan doesn’t have Tarawih?
- tie Ramadan with fun
- salat al Duha : make sure you pray this , it is essential for Baraka , Duha you can even pray while in car as it is naafila, naafila can be while sitting
- goal: make the longest Sujood
2. Suhoor Tips
- we have around 4 hours Between Tarawih and Suhoor, you can sleep. But if waking up is hard for you after just few hours of sleep then better to stay up.
- prepare Suhoor before you sleep, or wake up early to prepare it or prepare Suhoor while preparing iftar
- panini machine can make cheese and vegetable sandwiches fast
- while preparing iftar plan and even prepare Suhoor
- after iftar put out the Suhoor
- don’t let shaytan make you feel like a slave or that you are tired
- wake up 15 min before then wake everyone up before half hour
- make some surprises for the kids, like pancakes
- kids sometimes have school parties, they can bring their plate home and eat it at Suhoor
3. Iftar tips
- washing a whole bunch of salad items and store them
- cook for two days if possible
- choose easier recipes liked baked
- instant pot / slow cooker
- purchase cut onions and freeze
- peel garlic ahead of time and freeze
- cooking either morning after kids go to school or after asr . You should not be in the kitchen for more than 2 hours.
- morning can boil the meat/meal prep
4. Quran Tips
- in nawaafil we can hold the Quran
- why do we do a Qur’an khatm in Ramadan? This is our opportunity to present to our hearts the whole Quran. The Prophet (S) did this with Jibreel.
- if you do it as a speed reading, this is a reward , but is not something that will help sustain you after Ramadan .
- this year we will do khatm of Tadabbur alQuran together :
Tadabbur in Ramadan
Choose one or more...
1. أدعية في القرآن Gathering the duas of the Quran , then reflect on them, and try to use it through your day , especially before iftar
2. وقفات تربوية Look for Parenting tips. Tadabbur How to use it for Parenting .
3. نحن' او 'انا' / عظمة الله او وحدانية الله' the ayahs where Allah uses the plural pronoun (we نحن) and where He uses the singular pronoun (I انا). When the plural is used, it shows the greatness of Allah. When the singular is used, it shows the tawhid of Allah.
- use a Quran that has the tafseer , and get one with English tafseer for kids
- once a day share your Tadabbur with the kids , question of the day: I have this ayah, why did Allah use the word Ana? أنا اني .
- start reading the Juz the day Ramadan so that you can be on the same pages as the shaykh in Tarawih, then during Tarawih do more Tadabbur
- even during period keep going on your Quran schedule
- exercise or walking with kids outside before iftar
- if you put a goal of several Khitmas , when your kids are home you will feel annoyed
5. Thikr and Dua Tips
- while preparing suhoor make dua
- do istighfaar, this will rectify our kids
- dua before fajr the best time
- Salawat as much as you can , get to 1000
- syed al istighfaar on the way to Masjid
6. Activities with kids
- Islamic halaqa
- read stories
- make sure they are doing their prayers
- Friday’s after Jumah , each child read one page of kahf
Now let’s look at our challenges!
Challenges to our schedules
- social media
- iftar Invitations
- fancy cooking or desserts
Challenges with our children
- their complaining on going to school or doing their homework while fasting
- getting them to sleep in afternoon
- waking up for Suhoor , prayer
- when they come from school , can ask them , how many minutes until we pray , he chooses for example 30 min, then after 30 min you tell them that time came you promised that we will pray in 30 min. This puts the power with them.
- the day before set the expectations and discuss with kids . So that when they sleep they know that you are going to wake them up. This makes it easiest for them as they expect it.
- after the salat thank them
- competition:who will be the first one
- reward them with a surprise every week
One of our challenges: Training kids for Salat
Salat Expectations by Age
Dr Tariq Habeeb
Age 0-3:
- they like to imitate
- don’t tell them to come pray
- don’t say jannah or naar
- and if they come next to you then praise them
Age 4-5:
- can start talking about Allah, we pray because we love Allah, Who have you your eyes etc , Allah loves us . They can only understand love at this age.
- make up stories , story of a boy that prays
Age 6:
- sees parents as a model, if they love you, they will love Allah
- be a fun person , whatever they like to do , do with them
- Allah gave him mama and baba
- connect salat with fun encouragement
- organize your daily schedule around the prayers so tell him we will go after asr
Age 7-10:
- training starts but no punishments
- moral conscious now , he will start to feel bad when he does something wrong
- fascinated with the greatness of Allah
- can understand Allah with clarity
- will start asking questions , don’t get annoyed or alarmed , he is trying to evaluate and be convinced
- can start to understand about Allah’s punishment , hellfire
- make wudu fun , ok if he missed a part , just watch and say Alhamdulillah. You are training.
- read stories
- start to ask them to pray with you
- if child has sensitive personality, then don’t ever raise voice when asking him to pray
- or some kids need nice stories about importance of salat
- when they turn 7 make a kids party with theme of ‘7’ they will never forget it
- Age 9 can pray fajr on time or 15 min before sunrise
- punishments are easier but do not do that
- rewards after as a surprise , praise them in front of others relatives
- take then to pray in Masjid , talk to them as they are like the Sahaba, connect them with role models , Sahaba
- don’t expect khushoo3
- don’t compare them
- khushoo needs knowledge , and they don’t have that yet
- pray at beginning, it’s easier
- praise them in their prayer clothes , choose their prayer rug
- don’t accuse them of lying , this is a time of training . Say, maybe you forgot? He might have thought he did .
Age 10-12
- now salat is obligatory
- expect that: lying is possible now , trying to get away from obligations. Careless, wants to play
- if you punish , blame, or compare , they will have negative feelings
- we need to talk to them about Ayat and Hadith that will love salat , to understand why, to love siyam
- imagine that salat is a Tree and under the tree is presents. And siyam is a tree and under it are presents. What are the presents of Salat (the beautiful things about it)? What are the presents of Siyam (the beautiful things about it)?
Homework: research the ayahs and hadiths about salat and siyam and post to the group on Tuesday.
Future Homework: Research Child Development, what to expect for each age group. It is our responsibility as parents.
- Write down the ages of your kids
Read about Developmental characteristics for that age in all areas, spiritual , emotional , social
- If you found any websites or pdf that helped you please share it with us
5/2/19
Parenting in Ramadan
First let’s make our daily schedule
Ramadan Daily Schedule
Write down the prayer times
Suhoor: 4:15
Fajr: 4:46
Duha: 6:30am
Duhr: 1:10
Asr: 4:53
Maghrib: 8:02
Isha: 9:23 / 9:50 (MCA)
After Tarawih: 11pm
Then write down your obligations. Salat, cooking, cleaning, kids, Quran, Dua....
Then put them into your schedule.
1. Salat Tips
- pray in the beginning of the time. when hear the athaan leave everything and pray
- make wudu and be ready before the athaan
- then call kids to pray with you
- praying together is better than nagging them to pray
- Encourage them to lead the prayer. Child age 9+ can be Imam. For younger child pretend to pray behind him. If he forgot something say Allahu akbar.
- try to show your happiness , say let’s take a break and relax by praying , let’s be together
- wash prayer clothes, perfume the rugs , pray in different rooms
- ask the kids, oh there is school this year, let’s skip Tarawih what do you think? They will not accept it. Ask them ,Imagine if Ramadan doesn’t have Tarawih?
- tie Ramadan with fun
- salat al Duha : make sure you pray this , it is essential for Baraka , Duha you can even pray while in car as it is naafila, naafila can be while sitting
- goal: make the longest Sujood
2. Suhoor Tips
- we have around 4 hours Between Tarawih and Suhoor, you can sleep. But if waking up is hard for you after just few hours of sleep then better to stay up.
- prepare Suhoor before you sleep, or wake up early to prepare it or prepare Suhoor while preparing iftar
- panini machine can make cheese and vegetable sandwiches fast
- while preparing iftar plan and even prepare Suhoor
- after iftar put out the Suhoor
- don’t let shaytan make you feel like a slave or that you are tired
- wake up 15 min before then wake everyone up before half hour
- make some surprises for the kids, like pancakes
- kids sometimes have school parties, they can bring their plate home and eat it at Suhoor
3. Iftar tips
- washing a whole bunch of salad items and store them
- cook for two days if possible
- choose easier recipes liked baked
- instant pot / slow cooker
- purchase cut onions and freeze
- peel garlic ahead of time and freeze
- cooking either morning after kids go to school or after asr . You should not be in the kitchen for more than 2 hours.
- morning can boil the meat/meal prep
4. Quran Tips
- in nawaafil we can hold the Quran
- why do we do a Qur’an khatm in Ramadan? This is our opportunity to present to our hearts the whole Quran. The Prophet (S) did this with Jibreel.
- if you do it as a speed reading, this is a reward , but is not something that will help sustain you after Ramadan .
- this year we will do khatm of Tadabbur alQuran together :
Tadabbur in Ramadan
Choose one or more...
1. أدعية في القرآن Gathering the duas of the Quran , then reflect on them, and try to use it through your day , especially before iftar
2. وقفات تربوية Look for Parenting tips. Tadabbur How to use it for Parenting .
3. نحن' او 'انا' / عظمة الله او وحدانية الله' the ayahs where Allah uses the plural pronoun (we نحن) and where He uses the singular pronoun (I انا). When the plural is used, it shows the greatness of Allah. When the singular is used, it shows the tawhid of Allah.
- use a Quran that has the tafseer , and get one with English tafseer for kids
- once a day share your Tadabbur with the kids , question of the day: I have this ayah, why did Allah use the word Ana? أنا اني .
- start reading the Juz the day Ramadan so that you can be on the same pages as the shaykh in Tarawih, then during Tarawih do more Tadabbur
- even during period keep going on your Quran schedule
- exercise or walking with kids outside before iftar
- if you put a goal of several Khitmas , when your kids are home you will feel annoyed
5. Thikr and Dua Tips
- while preparing suhoor make dua
- do istighfaar, this will rectify our kids
- dua before fajr the best time
- Salawat as much as you can , get to 1000
- syed al istighfaar on the way to Masjid
6. Activities with kids
- Islamic halaqa
- read stories
- make sure they are doing their prayers
- Friday’s after Jumah , each child read one page of kahf
Now let’s look at our challenges!
Challenges to our schedules
- social media
- iftar Invitations
- fancy cooking or desserts
Challenges with our children
- their complaining on going to school or doing their homework while fasting
- getting them to sleep in afternoon
- waking up for Suhoor , prayer
- when they come from school , can ask them , how many minutes until we pray , he chooses for example 30 min, then after 30 min you tell them that time came you promised that we will pray in 30 min. This puts the power with them.
- the day before set the expectations and discuss with kids . So that when they sleep they know that you are going to wake them up. This makes it easiest for them as they expect it.
- after the salat thank them
- competition:who will be the first one
- reward them with a surprise every week
One of our challenges: Training kids for Salat
Salat Expectations by Age
Dr Tariq Habeeb
Age 0-3:
- they like to imitate
- don’t tell them to come pray
- don’t say jannah or naar
- and if they come next to you then praise them
Age 4-5:
- can start talking about Allah, we pray because we love Allah, Who have you your eyes etc , Allah loves us . They can only understand love at this age.
- make up stories , story of a boy that prays
Age 6:
- sees parents as a model, if they love you, they will love Allah
- be a fun person , whatever they like to do , do with them
- Allah gave him mama and baba
- connect salat with fun encouragement
- organize your daily schedule around the prayers so tell him we will go after asr
Age 7-10:
- training starts but no punishments
- moral conscious now , he will start to feel bad when he does something wrong
- fascinated with the greatness of Allah
- can understand Allah with clarity
- will start asking questions , don’t get annoyed or alarmed , he is trying to evaluate and be convinced
- can start to understand about Allah’s punishment , hellfire
- make wudu fun , ok if he missed a part , just watch and say Alhamdulillah. You are training.
- read stories
- start to ask them to pray with you
- if child has sensitive personality, then don’t ever raise voice when asking him to pray
- or some kids need nice stories about importance of salat
- when they turn 7 make a kids party with theme of ‘7’ they will never forget it
- Age 9 can pray fajr on time or 15 min before sunrise
- punishments are easier but do not do that
- rewards after as a surprise , praise them in front of others relatives
- take then to pray in Masjid , talk to them as they are like the Sahaba, connect them with role models , Sahaba
- don’t expect khushoo3
- don’t compare them
- khushoo needs knowledge , and they don’t have that yet
- pray at beginning, it’s easier
- praise them in their prayer clothes , choose their prayer rug
- don’t accuse them of lying , this is a time of training . Say, maybe you forgot? He might have thought he did .
Age 10-12
- now salat is obligatory
- expect that: lying is possible now , trying to get away from obligations. Careless, wants to play
- if you punish , blame, or compare , they will have negative feelings
- we need to talk to them about Ayat and Hadith that will love salat , to understand why, to love siyam
- imagine that salat is a Tree and under the tree is presents. And siyam is a tree and under it are presents. What are the presents of Salat (the beautiful things about it)? What are the presents of Siyam (the beautiful things about it)?
Homework: research the ayahs and hadiths about salat and siyam and post to the group on Tuesday.
Future Homework: Research Child Development, what to expect for each age group. It is our responsibility as parents.
- Write down the ages of your kids
Read about Developmental characteristics for that age in all areas, spiritual , emotional , social
- If you found any websites or pdf that helped you please share it with us
No comments:
Post a Comment